Protest: Trumposophy

Have you heard the Fake News?

Oct 12, 2018 Web Exclusive By Steve King Bookmark and Share


The American president is a stand-in for whatever god you want to believe in, and He is given almost absolute power by His subjects and their courts. He is a man who can be in all rooms at all times. Religion (and history) are a lie agreed upon, so the Church of Trumposophy should have come as no surprise. It's not just a religion. It's not a conspiracy theory. It's not a belief structure. It's a way of life.

After 70 years of struggling as a billionaire, having built shrines to Himself, His name already emblazoned on a million products, the messiah with a martyr complex thrust Himself into the punishing gauntlet of ranting at arenas filled with screaming true believers. They were waiting to be born again through His bizzare magic.

His rallies took on the air of amateur tent revivals, where older angry whites engaged in group primal screams, and only a few dozen liberals were assaulted. He was a sovereign with the godly sense to be born on Flag Day. He was the most stable of geniuses and his QAnon apostles preached the loser gospel to the the most victorious Republicans in nearly one hundred years. He was like gravity. It can't be touched or seen but it's there. His sermons were a new phenomenon.

His was a shinier, less Jewish Jesus, retconned and ready, craving New Testament love but wanting to spread Old Testament wrath. He knew that having no mercy is what separated gods from men. The gods don't take requests. He had already become a kind of American demigod, but He needed more. He was finally ready to spread the Fake News. And His new followers, Russian bots and otherwise, were thankful for the privilege of being able to vote for Him.

As a candidate, He encouraged the beating of protesters. As president, He rightly proclaimed the Globalist media the enemy of the people. Fools love a fool. How else could a godless New York billionaire become the leader of the great unwashed, formerly-Christians? There were no Gods before Him. He reframed the narrative. He broadcasted at His own frequency. He put the Me in America again and no one makes a fool of Americans except the Lord himself. They showered Him in golden praise. They didn't need the truth when they had His Truth.

Money is not real. Power is not real. Only the belief in their worth is real. Belief is the only thing that's real and He knew exactly how to tweak it. Capitalism was the closest America had to an official religion. Conservatism was a close second, and He was able to cross-blend them into the perfect new American experiment.

Conservative conscience was captive to the word of the new god, and the truth was the last thing that would set you free. Taking people's money is what made them real and worth something to the president; their love and adulation came second.

He wasn't just some politician. He was the president. He was omnipresent and trippy. His subjects expected Him to become presidential after taking office, yet He made the presidency more like Himself. There was no path Republicans wouldn't follow Him down. From separating families, to banning Muslim immigration, to arming teachers, and hopefully shutting down the media, as long as He appointed pro-life judges, He could watch as much porn as he wanted in the White House. Moral leadership wasn't so important anymore.

Politicians are naturally born witches, but presidents can become gods. Being president means you were able to tap into something deep that millions of people were feeling; or rather, you were at least able to do it better than the other candidates. He didn't need Cambridge Analytica to tell him what people were thinking.

Normally, conquering is different than ruling, but He had the wisdom to rule as if He were still a conqueror. His divine providence had the evangelicals wrapped around His finger. Things like decorum, manners, and morals were no longer essential for the conservative movement.

He was divine intervention in the liberal dystopia. Every god needs a devil. In His case it was the interloper, Obama, and the witch, Hillary Clinton. His ways and plans were not known to us. He would womanize and make outrageous claims like he invented the phrase "priming the pump." He would speak in tongues and create new words like "covfefe." His spelling and grammar were his own. He was the only man who was able to get people to deny the evidence that their feeble eyes and ears were too weak to understand. He once claimed the sky wasn't blue.

Trumposophy can be distilled into a simple maxim: Don't think. Act. Cheat with a foreign country in order to win an election, grab all the pussies you want, marry them if you have to, mix politics and business with corruption, and poison the minds of as many people as you can so they get confused and tired. Steal everything you can. While everyone is reacting to and aghast at what you just did, while they're still examining everything, do something else that sets a new agenda. Pardon people convicted of the same things your apostles are under investigation for. Take credit for things the last president did. Shift blame onto others.

Trumposophy means never having to say you're sorry. It means there is no sin that cannot be obfuscated. No god's judgement that can't be muddied. No pardon needed. It means nothing matters. There are no morals but terrible, unfair treatment by one's betters. Manners for me but not for thee. You can say whatever you want no matter how wrong you are, as long as you say it with the confidence of a billionaire blond. It means forcing your confused interests onto Republicans and the rest of the population because it's what they didn't know they wanted. Not because it serves a purpose or that it will help them, but because they need it.

He was a man who didn't care for religion or the religious, but He no doubt loved the balls, if not the tenets, of the newer American ones. Mormons and Scientologists were a good start, but the country needed something more. Religion is just lying to people willing to believe it. Every religion starts out as a cult. Why shouldn't it have been any different for our new God Emperor? A cross is really just a lowercase T.

He was a new model God crucified by the Deep State. Not pious but never wrong, He was an emo big brother whose every half-baked, truthful hyperbolic thought showed up on His subjects' phones in the mornings. Comprehensive books that were written later could never capture the drama and shell-shocked exhaustion, suspense, and panic of living in the moment that His thoughts were beamed directly people's brains, as if they were all contestants in a self-participatory reality show. Like there was a constant emergency broadcast system for the criminally insane and newly powerless. His time in office was like living with someone shredding a guitar in your living room.

Politicians don't normally invent a zeitgeist; they ride it. Times change easier than people, and He understood that perfectly (if nothing else). That's what made Him more than a politician. It's what makes Him a modern day god. He was the embodiment of a sort of Mandela effect for the angry white masses, misremembering complaints from an alternate reality. He was attuned to some part or version of the secret truth of the universe. He heard and could feel things that others couldn't. He might not have talked perfect English but He sure as hell spoke excellent American. The best.

It's not as though He came out of nowhere to cast a spell on America. It was something between magic and science. A conspiracy composed of millions. He was a hobgoblin who could read and thus control Americans' minds, if not His own. His hypnosis spurred the majority of people to act and what survived His long cold winter was stronger and couldn't be undone, and through all the abuse He put the country through, in an odd way, He brought it closer to repentance and redemption. His election was an act of god. He created new realities and a new American church, and the beauty part was that it was all tax free.



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