The Good, the Bad, and Serge Gainsbourg
Adventures in Monotony
Oct 29, 2012
Serge Gainsbourg
We are deep in the heart of a vineyard, wine glasses in hand. My dear friend Ian Mackley has an impish look on his face. After nine years of friendship, I know exactly what this means: I will disagree with the next thing that comes out of his mouth.
“We should take a week and listen to nothing but Serge Gainsbourg!” he says excitedly. “It’ll be a real cultural experiment!”
There it is.
Of course, after nine years of friendship, he knows something about me too: with a little cajoling I’ll break faster than a first year improv student. While this probably points to a larger underlying character flaw, it has lead to a fair share of adventures, from blanket forts, to public pillow fights, to attempting to pass him off as a Polish producer.
And so, Ian beat me down convinced me to have a go at getting my French on. Below is the account of our twin descents into madness.
Monday (Lundi):
Laura: It’s just after midnight. I start off easy with a touch of Melody Nelson. I know I’ll have to get into the heavy weird stuff later, so this seems like as good of an introduction as any. I realize that I have failed to count an EP about seducing a minor as “weird” or “heavy,” and decide to call it a night.
Midday rush hour traffic and I’m driving home after depositing a friend at the airport. Realize too late that the only Gainsbourg I own is in digital form. Turn on NPR. Ugh, who would Serge vote for? Turn off the radio and amuse myself by conjugating verbs while doing my best Francois Hardy impression. It pleases me that seven years after my last official French class I can still pull off the linguistic trick. This project was a great idea.
I love Ian!
Ian: This is campy and novel! Boy, what a clever one I am; to come up with such a fun and youthful experiment. In fact, Serge would be proud—nay, impressed! I know my friends will be impressed!
Tuesday (Mardi):
Laura: As soon as I open my eyes I realize that this is a terrible idea. A human trick so stupid Letterman wouldn’t touch it. My mood is not improved by accidentally listening to a few tracks of wretched cover band, The Serge Gainsbourg Experience.
I hate Ian.
Ian: Ah, the French. So sassy and French. I know this because I listen to Serge Gainsbourg…for a week at a time! I’m cultured. Aware. Informed, even! I can now give a single chuckle at a sexual reference through the smoke of my l’cigarette. That’s French for cigarette.
Wednesday (Mercredi):
Laura: I have temporarily broken to listen to—and post—a track on Under the Radar’s website. I quickly flip on Gainsbourg/Bridget Bardot duet “Comic Strip” in both English and French. Apparently sometime during the night I have drunk the (champagne-flavored) Kool-Aid because my angst instantly melts. Shabang! Pop! Pow! Wizz!
Ian: Today I caught myself thinking in French…well, with a French accent anyway. But we’ll go with le former. Tee hee, anyway, tomorrow awaits! So off au sommeil!
Thursday (Jeudi):
Laura: Via the magic of Spotify I see that Ian is listening to Francois Hardy. What the hell? Caesar himself would not understand the level of betrayal I’m feeling.
Ian (The Liar): Ok, so I know just enough French that it feels like every single song is to be used for educational purposes to learn the language. Un chat! Oui, un chat. Merci, Serge, por teaching moi français.
Friday (Vendredi):
Laura: Ian finally admits that he broke and listened to something other than Gainsbourg. I sentence him to a full listen of Gainsbourg’s wretched 1989 album Le Zenith De Gainsbourg. Forty-five minutes later, I receive a text that’s either him attempting to swear in French, or the desperate keystrokes of a dying man. Revenge is a dish best served en français.
Ian: Un, deux, trois, Je ne sais pas! Ha ha, no I’m just kidding. I know what I doing: committing! I am committed to this project. To this experiment. To this cultural tip-of-the-hat. I’m sure I’ll look back on this in a few years and laugh. My kids will think I’m cool as I tell them the story. Their high school friends will wish I was their dad. We’ll listen to records together.
Saturday (Samedi):
Laura: My dreams in French have mercifully excluded “Lemon Incest.” I am less offended by the content than by Charlotte Gainsbourg’s painful lack of talent at an early age. This can only mean one thing: there’s still hope for Honey Boo Boo.
Ian: Only one more day. I can do this. “We can do this,” says Laura. Says that Accuser. Serge, you were great. Were. Bardot…whatever. Fun name to drop in order to look smart and culturally informed. Isolate it to support some B movie and I’ll be okay listening to “Ford Mustang.” Whatever.
Sunday (Dimanche):
Laura: What started over a glass of wine ended over a glass of wine. Albeit of a significantly lower quality. I sip and stare out the window, listening to instrumental tracks until the clock strikes midnight. Then, realizing there’s not an iota more symbolism that I can add to the scene without the application of a beret, heavy-handed accent, and graduate degree, I drain my glass, flip off the stereo, and head to bed.
Ian: I’m over it. Just rented The Avengers on Amazon streaming. It was in English.
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Comments
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October 30th 2012
9:03pm
i love you guys.
November 20th 2012
5:52am
nice post..
December 15th 2012
6:20pm
Brigitte Bardot .... a living legend. Now I understand that, she is protecting the animals.
December 16th 2012
2:32pm
Routine is one of the major causes of dehumanization of human beings.
March 22nd 2013
5:02am
Your write-up is incredibly helpful! Reading through your work has educated me. Discovered a lot from it. I will bookmark your blog site and will consistently read through your forthcoming content. Good! Kudos!
July 15th 2013
8:29pm
An interesting week. Very interesting indeed. Capping it off with Avengers, nah! I would have preferred something else
September 15th 2013
3:13pm
Serge Gainsbourg, that’s definitely some interesting music.
October 15th 2013
11:45am
I am doing it now, I started yesterday…and today I found your blog. Wow! Music is so powerful. Greeting from New York USA. Rest in peace mon ami Serge.
October 30th 2014
6:04am
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July 14th 2016
5:49pm
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