David Cross
Comedy is not Shitty
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Article
by John Srebalus
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His new album,
Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! isn’t much of a lovefest,
so let’s start with a few things David Cross likes. “CMJ
just came through here, so I saw upwards of 15-18 different
bands that week,” he says. “I’ve gotta
say, as over-hyped as it is, the burgeoning New York scene
is really great: the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Liars. Then
I got turned on to a bunch of stuff: The Danielson Family,
Calexico. I just saw The Flaming Lips, who were opening up
for Beck. They transcended that typical ‘Oh, they were
great.’ It was one of the best shows I’ve seen,
ever.”
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I figured
Cross knows his indie rock. Shut Up was recorded
this past summer at music venues, where he opened up
for Atlanta’s
UltraBabyFat. The Glands and Arlo soundtrack his upcoming
DVD, and his album’s sound credits include Death Cab
For Cutie’s Chris Walla as well as Phil Ek, knob
guy for bands like Built To Spill, Modest Mouse, and
Pretty Girls
Make Graves. Not a big fan of comedy clubs, Cross prefers
doing his stand-up at rock joints. He likes that the
audience is standing, and just digs the vibe.
Selling Rasta hats in Harvard Square
The “alternative” comedy scene of which Cross was a part in the early ’90s
in L.A. clearly reflected a philosophy also identified with independent music.
Call it what you will, but much of it comes from hating what’s going on
around you. For the regular comics at West Hollywood’s UnCabaret club --
David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, Dana Gould, Margaret Cho, Janeane Garofalo, Bob Goldthwait,
and others -- it was the easy, “jokey” stuff engineered to sustain
careers on the suburban Laugh Factory circuit. Before the UnCab, Cross was bummed
about what he described as the loud, racist, homophobic schtick so popular in
Boston in the late ’80s, so he and a handful of others forged a headier
scene at Catch A Rising Star in Cambridge. Known as Cross Comedy, their theater-stand-up
hybrid contained the seeds of Mr. Show.
Cross now lives in New York and loves it. According to him, it’s a used
condom-littered, 24-7 freak show crawling with fine women -- and much preferable
to the “parade of delusion” he describes on Shut Up.
Naturally, he’s
talking about Los Angeles, his previous home. “They’re all gonna
make it,” he says sarcastically, “They’re gonna be the next
Drew Barrymore… the next Fred Durst or whatever marginally talented artist
you can think of…About 13 of them will make it, maybe 14 if you count
the woman who goes on Blind Date and then poses in Playboy.”
Sexier fart jokes in just 28 days
Cross takes aim at phonies, dopes and assholes of all kinds. He’s especially
fond of dumb rednecks, dirty hippies, hyper-motivated bullshitters, and post-9/11
flag-wavers. In one of his regular “My America” columns in Vice magazine,
entitled “God, Less America,” he implores us all to excuse God from
blessing America for just a week: “I mean, even the inner-city, crack-addicted
preemie, born in a toilet stall and abandoned an hour later in the snack-food
aisle at Food 4 Less is automatically luckier than 98% of the rest of the
world.”
As one can guess, politics and religion have a special place in his act.
Not only that, he’s candidly political -- largely, one assumes, because of
his disgust with the people currently running the show. He joined over 150,000
people in Washington this past October to protest the impending war in Iraq.
But, ironically perhaps, he would have done it differently -- at least differently
than all the “neo-hippies” in attendance. I thought he was talking
about hair and hemp, so I ask him how the peace movement might become cooler. “The
idea of something so important and basic as a peace movement having to have a
patina of cool to attract people is pathetic,” he counters. “Maybe
the coolness is gonna have to come from tomorrow’s Eddie Vedder or whatever.
But I would hope it’s not reduced to some kind of ‘Isn’t this
neat? Look how cool this is.’ I mean, it’s one of the most important
things that's gonna face this generation, which is so pathetically apathetic.
It’s amazing that people stand in line for a week to watch a movie, but
they won’t stand in line to vote.” When Cross gets to marching, he’s
not fucking around. “People are having too much of a good time,” he
says. “They’re too happy and satisfied with their own clever little
puns about Bush or Cheney. It was quite dismaying. It was like, c’mon,
this is fuckin’ serious.”
You will practice random acts of kindness… in
bed
Cross’s album won’t be accused of apathy. In the tradition of his
earlier UnCab act, it deliberately has a strong point of view. He digs at Bush
and Ashcroft, but not with the yuk-yuk neutrality of the Leno-Letterman lapdogs. “I
think there’s a very strong possibility that George W. Bush may go down
in history as the worst president we’ve ever had,” he proposes. “and
I don’t mean, like, in a Millard Fillmore-James Polk kinda way….He
is a liar.” Reasons are given: “You cannot win a war on terrorism.
It’s like having a war on jealousy.” And credit is given where due, “for
having the courage…to find it within himself to execute retarded people….Obviously
he’s gotta reconcile that with the fact that he’s a born-again Christian,
which must be very difficult, but he’s able to do it.”
Photograph
by Ryan McGinley |
So
I asked him how he’s voting in 2004. “I’d
vote for whoever the fuckin’ Democrats throw
up there, even if it’s Lieberman, who I hate,
just to get Bush out of office. I don’t give
a shit if it’s a fuckin’ Muppet. The
most important thing is to get rid of those people,
dealing with the changes from within.” He’s
hopeful that others, with a little help from the
media, could come to share his critical voice. “Less
than 40% of the registered voters voted in the mid-term
election,” he cites. “I think there will
be a monumental backlash. The media could call them
on their shit and have a sense of outrageousness
that accompanied other turning-point times in this
country: the Vietnam war, Iran-Contra, or anything
that was important and world-altering.” |
Believing
he has the capacity to deliver a hip and hilarious social
message -- like a Michael Moore for the Jackass crowd
-- I ask him if he has any
interest. “I
can get very passionate about something if I focus on it, but I’m
afraid of sounding like some ranting lunatic,” he answers. “I
don’t
want to be a spokesperson for the left, because I’m not articulate
enough, and I’m not smart enough,” I’d probably disagree,
but that’s
cool. And concerning Bowling For Columbine director Michael Moore, Cross
has some serious misgivings: “I enjoyed [the film] and was glad that
it was made, although its self-aggrandizing, self-promotion is bothersome
to me and
detracted from my enjoyment of the movie. But then, weeks later, I was
reading on Spinsanity.com about a large number -- not three or four, but
ten or eleven
-- examples of him fudging the truth and making shit up. Then I lost all
respect for him. I’d heard about some shit he’d done with Stupid
White Men and how he fudged some numbers and didn’t give credit to
some people who came up with shit. Then he hides behind this thing about
his satire, which I
think is weak and further discredits him. Now I’m disappointed that
he’s
the spokesperson for the left. I wish he’d just go away and stop
doing this stuff. It’s not helping.”
Bill ’em all, let Maude sort ’em out
Cross isn’t a big fan of organized religion either. Pouncing on the easy
target provided by Boston’s behind-the-scenes, he then heads up his own
saucy Sunday school through much of Shut Up’s second disc. Such rants have
drawn only occasional protest. “The only feedback I get personally is after
a show,” he says. “That’ll occasionally happen, but not so
much any more, because the people coming to the shows already know my take on
things. I did see some stuff on Amazon, where you can review the album. A couple
people were recommending religious stuff in place of my album. You know, ‘If
you get this album, you should also get Laughing With The Lord’ or
something like that. I thought that was pretty funny. Nothing too negative,
although I
would welcome it with open arms.”
Photograph
by Ryan McGinley |
When
you go back to the less vitriolic Mr. Show, you
get more of a feeling that The Lord was laughing
along.
The greatest sketch comedy show in this writer’s
memory, the HBO half hour Cross shared from 1995-98
with Bob Odenkirk and a killer revolving cast combined
Monty Python, the best of early SNL, and freedom
you wouldn’t even expect from a midnight time
slot on cable. They took chances and welcomed challenges
that made marathons out of writers’ meetings.
Recurring characters, for instance, were ruled out,
as were parodies; and each sketch had to somehow
transition to the next, a mandate that required four
days’ work at one point, according to Naomi
Odenkirk’s book Mr. Show: What Happened? “We
eventually said, ‘Fuck it, man, just pull into
a commercial,’” according to Cross. It
was a much-used device, but made for some great shit,
like “Van Hammersly,” a brilliant bit
where a spastically pompous Bob Odenkirk flogs
educational videos that teach and entertain through
billiards.
Naturally,
Jesus made a few appearances: as Jack Black’s
Jeepers Creepers, an indecisive messiah who waffles
in the spirit of Jesus Christ Superstar, and as the
Christ who must scold Marshal, an unknown 13th Apostle/motivational
speaker who asks God, “Are you happy settling
for omnipotence?” So many appearances, in fact,
that He, along with Hitler and gay characters, were
eventually barred from writing sessions, so as not
to beat the convenient themes to death. Viewers reaped
laughs and brain food from such diligent diversity:
everything from “Sovereign Nation Open” to “Mafia
Mathematicians” to “Mom & Pop Porn
Shop.” |
Never wank with exfoliating scrub
There were a lot of ideas at Mr. Show that never
made it past the “shit
box,” but Cross doesn’t dwell too much in the self-editing suite
when it comes to his stand-up. “I don’t do a whole lot of it, for
better or worse, and I think that comes across on the album,” he says. “It
was a conscious decision to not edit it down and try to pull a really tight hour
from two and a half hours. That’s not what I do, and that’s not what
I enjoy doing. Ultimately, as I’m sitting down, trying to figure out what
I’m going to do, I’m like, fuck other people, I’m just gonna
do what I like. I was trying to capture the feeling of the live show, as opposed
to weeding out all the extra ‘uhms’ and ‘likes’ and ‘you
knows’ and all the places where I ramble and go off on a tangent. I never
sit down and write my act out. I’ll just have my subject matter and start
talking about it. And then over different performances I’ll cull
what I like about it and what is worthless and unfunny, and try to
get rid of
that.”
And unfunny is pretty much his only taboo. Cross is one angry dude,
and he’ll
talk about anything, “unless it’s hurting someone’s feelings
that I respect,” he says. He hates the idea of political correctness, but
basically exudes it in his general character. Of course, some will take select
bits out of context, but it’s these apparent contradictions that serve
the complexity of his art. Take the track titles on Shut Up that have nothing
to do with the content of the corresponding bit. He explains, “‘If
Baseballs Had AIDS On Them’ was inspired by a real bit that a
Boston comic did -- an awful, mean, homophobic, misogynist comic like
so many
of them were.
It was a bit he did, saying the reason Bill Buckner let the baseball
go between his legs in the [1986] World Series was that he heard it
had AIDS
on it.”
Another track title came from Cross’s own arsenal of offensiveness. “‘Shaving
The Pope’s Pussy’ was actually a real bit I did when I was doing
open-mic in Boston,” he explains. “I would pull it out purely for
shock value. It wasn’t all that funny -- it was more ‘oh, shit’ kind
of funny. I would do it if I was really eating it…Then people would get
really upset with me, and I’d leave.”
While Shut Up will introduce many to a whole new brand of
shock, Cross’s
mom surely got over it years ago. She doesn’t even mind his saying fuck
all the time. “She loves it,” he says. “She gets a dollar every
time I say it, so she’s a very wealthy woman.”
Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! is out now on SubPop Records. Mr. Show
is on HBO Home
Video. Cross has appeared in Ghost World and on TV’s The Drew
Carey Show and Just Shoot Me. Upcoming roles include
a small part in the new Spike Jonze
film, currently in production. He’s on the Web at www.bobanddavid.com.
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