The End: Jessica Weiss of Fear of Men on Endings and Death
"The only people I've lost in my life have lived into old age, which allows me to be the self-absorbed, sensitive flower that I am."
Mar 14, 2016
Photography by Eleanor Hardwick
Web Exclusive
We asked Jessica Weiss of Fear of Men some questions about endings and death. The British trio also includes Daniel Falvey and Michael Miles. They are releasing a new album, Fall Forever, on June 3 via Kanine. The album is the follow-up to the Brighton-based band’s 2014-released debut Loom. Weiss calls Fall Forever “a love album” and says in a press release that it’s a “very personal and genuine record exploring where my life is at the moment.”
Fear of Men are performing at one of Under the Radar‘s SXSW day parties this Wednesday at the Flamingo Cantina at 6th and Red River (515 E. 6th Street, Austin, TX 78701). The party is free and open to the public; head over to the Eventbrite page for our SXSW parties to RSVP. Fear of Men go on at 2:25 PM and the rest of the lineup features New York’s Caveman, England’s Yuck, New York’s Sunflower Bean, England’s Fear of Men, Spain’s Hinds, Australia’s Hockey Dad, and England’s HÆLOS. The full set times are below and all the info on our three SXSW 2016 events can be found here.
Read on as Weiss discusses how she’d like to die, what song she’d like played on her deathbed, her favorite endings to movies and books, her ideal heaven, and reincarnation
How would you like to die and what age would you like to be?
I have a lot of mortality anxiety, it’s what most of my first songs were about, and it’s something that I can remember hanging over me from the age of about 7. When I see a child that small now it seems kind of crazy that kids can comprehend death. I still don’t think I can actually grasp it, but I remember the feeling of realization that my time alive was finite punching me in the guts at night. So I’d like to die in old age, and I’d like to learn to appreciate life more while I’m here as it’s easy to get crushed by the thought of not being around forever.
What song would you like to be playing at your deathbed?
“I’ll Be Seeing You” by Billie Holiday.
What’s your favorite ending to a movie?
When Thelma and Louise drive off the cliff.
What’s your favorite ending to a book?
I love the cathartic end of biographies where after going through so much with the subject, experiencing their whole life, they inevitably die and you mourn as if you knew them. Simone de Beauvoir’s biography left me feeling completely overwhelmed with sadness at the end, but it’s mourning for an incredibly full, inspiring life, so it’s a moment of letting go that teaches you about yourself.
Whose passing has most affected you?
I’m very lucky that the only people I’ve lost in my life have lived into old age, which allows me to be the self-absorbed, sensitive flower that I am.
What’s your concept of the afterlife?
For a long time I thought that there was nothing, but now I think that spirits hang around. I’m not religious at all, I just think that there is another level of something.
What would be your own personal version of heaven if it exists?
Alexis Sanchez’s dogs, Atom and Humber, carrying me drinks on their backs while I watch Jersey Shore in a yoga class.
If reincarnation exists, who or what would you like to be reincarnated as?
I’ve always liked lemurs, cats, and elephants in particular. Or Alan Shearer.
What role or achievement would you most like to be remembered for?
I’m trying to be less focused on achievements and weighing myself against other people. It is just something that does no good, and it’s a weakness that should be fought against- defining yourself by other people’s expectations. Beyond people I love I’m happy to be forgotten. On the other hand I also really like ostentatious Victorian stone angel monuments, so perhaps I would like to be remembered by one of those.
Under the Radar SXSW Day Party at Flamingo Cantina, Wednesday, March 16:
5:00 PM: Caveman
4:05 PM: Yuck
3:15 PM: Sunflower Bean
2:25 PM: Fear of Men
1:35 PM: Hinds
12:45 PM: Hockey Dad
12:00 PM: HÆLOS
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2:43am
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