Soundtracking the Resistance - Margaret Butler of GGOOLLDD on Adoption and Abandoned Children
Wanting the Unwanted
Dec 08, 2017 GGOOLLDD
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GGOOLLDD are an idiosyncratic bunch, unconstrained by the usual music industry formula. This flashy electro-rock outfit has so far shown no inclination to lock into big record deals, churning out template album after template album. Led by Margaret Butler, they’ve instead chosen to put out a collection of EPs, the latest, Teeth, at the start of this month, and basically do their own thing.
That thing comes in the form of fist-pumping beats, explosive choruses, and enough energy to power a decent sized town. As if fronting wasn’t enough, there’s more to Butler, and more she wants to say though, especially when it comes to the sheer number of children dumped into care in the U.S. That’s what we have this week, but I’ll leave it to her to explain more. - Stephen Mayne
Wanting the Unwanted
By Margaret Butler
Okay, so this is sort of a weird thing to get all hyped up about, but I often get angry when I hear people talk about “trying” to have children. Not because I blame them for wanting children but because of the general shortsightedness of the whole idea. A few years ago, some friends, who were also new parents, apologetically brought their new baby over for game night. Again, they were asking me if I’d reconsidered having children.
My response was the same: I like to eat at restaurants; I like going to bars, shows, movies, game nights; I don’t want the burden of something holding me back from the things I love. But now that they’d become parents, their response to me was not their usual, “Oh, but you would make a great mother.” Instead they said, “Oh, I wish we would have thought about that before having children.” While this response shocked me at first and I immediately assumed they were idiots I soon realized that they had never even had the chance to think it through. They were Christians born and raised, and truly had no idea what free will actually was. These two, like so many millions of others, are simply the cheap maple syrup stuck inside the Eggo waffle that is Christian sociological ideals.
So why does this make me angry? If other people want to fuck up their lives, then let them, right?
Here’s the thing. It’s not about the parents. For me, it’s about the thousands of children sitting in foster homes and orphanages that will never get adopted, never have someone to look up to and fall back on, never have normal communication skills, never have a sense of being understood or shown unconditional love, and ultimately end up on the streets at 18 where they’ll most likely end up thrown aside or put in prison.
What’s really crazy is that the same demographic that is wildly contributing to the overpopulation epidemic is also, ignorantly and ironically, putting countless amounts of money and time into anti-abortion campaigns aimed to fill the minds of young, sexually uneducated, and miseducated women with guilt for terminating a pregnancy that they ultimately had no help not having in the first place.
I’ve never wanted children. As a child I was always told, “How could you not want children? That’s so selfish.” I’m not alone in this—I’ve talked to so many women that were told the same thing at a very young age. There was even a time when I thought maybe I should have children, that it was wrong not to, so I told my family that when I got older I would adopt. That created such a stir of anger I never brought it up again.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it: for a group of people so consumed with what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is evil, saving the life of the living isn’t more important than creating more people? But I now realize that it isn’t a matter of right or wrong; it’s a matter of ignorance. This is a subject that isn’t talked about often enough, yet we condemn our friends and neighbors if they didn’t get their dogs from a shelter.
One of the saddest things I’ve ever heard was a grown man telling me at dinner one night that he didn’t have to pay attention to politics because there were smarter people out there—priests and politicians—who were taking care of him and that he put his trust in them. The god epidemic is the same. Unfortunately, the god epidemic is so closely tied to the political one. And full circle, this is where the adoption epidemic is born. While there are so many horrible things that are the result of church and state not being properly separated, I feel like this is an issue all sides can agree on. We need to create a better system for our country’s unwanted children. Other people’s ignorance is their existence and it’s a shame that they are defenseless against it.
I’m not a saint. I honestly will probably never adopt even though I say that I will. I got my dog from a breeder when I was 21. I’m the most uncommitted vegan that has ever lived. However, I care enough about this that I truly want to do something, to make a change. And while I’ve come up with no real solutions thus far, I think talking about it and pushing other people to talk about it is a good start.
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