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Mar 10, 2015 By S. P. Halliday

The following is from a real transcript I found in a back alley in Van Nuys behind Happy Hug Liquor. It’s the recorded dialogue between a psychiatrist and his patient. When I found this transcript, its pages browned by whatever liquid it was laying in, I had to go and see for myself at Center For the Arts Eagle Rock on February 27, 2015. What you are about to read is a small sample of the transcript I found. It is absolutely true and very powerful information for the human mind. Do not take it lightly. Please read carefully and share with those who need its application.

Transcript start:

“Are your eyes closed?”

 “Yes”

 “What do you see?”

 “I don’t see anything. I’m hearing it though. I’m always hearing it, that’s the problem.

“Hearing what exactly?”

“A carnival. Specifically a merry-go-round in a carnival.”

“You are seeing then.”

“I see it through my hearing”

“Hmm… interesting.”

“The carnival is loud but the merry-go-round is even louder. There are all sorts of plastic sea creatures you can ride on. They bob up and down while the ride goes around and around. I’m on an octopus. There is something else though.”

“Yes.”

“There is a small tribe of Indian dwarves, the feather not the dot, riding on the merry-go-round with me. They won’t shut up. They beat on their drums doing some kind of rain dance and crying out their song in rhythm with the merry-go-round, faster and faster.”

 “Wow”

 “And now the in the middle of the merry-go-round the curtain rises revealing a red bearded man in a green and white striped shirt. He looks like a male version of Peppermint Patty from Charlie Brown. It’s terrifying doctor. He’s spinning even faster than the merry-go-round that encircles him. The rhythm of it all is infectiously loud and keeps getting faster and faster, but never stops. It all seems so chaotic but yet beautiful. And it’s all controlled by this Mad Hatter of music. And here’s the kicker, he won’t stop smiling at me.”

 “I see. It’s worse than I thought.”

 “What is it doctor? What’s wrong with me?”

 “You have Dan Deacon Disease.”

 “No, please not that.”

 “I’m afraid it’s true. You have a beat inside of you that refuses to be satiated.”

 “Is there anything I can do? or… is this the end?”

 “There is one thing.”

 “What is it? I’ll do anything.”

 “You need to drop everything and go to the internet and download every Dan Deacon album he has ever made. Then you need to listen to every album in its entirety. If you do this right now, without hesitation, you might have a chance. If you don’t, the beat inside of you may never be satiated.”

End of Transcript.