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Sep 23, 2010 By Lily Moayeri Web Exclusive

The billboards for ABC’s My Generation look a lot better than the real thing. Pretending to be a documentary, the filmmakers follow nine individuals 10 years after they graduated high school in 2000. The number of annoying elements in My Generation is countless. Among these, the “documentary” voiceover and the wholly unsympathetic characters—each of them uninteresting in their own throwaway fashion.

When Mr. and Mrs. High School (Julian Morris and Jaime King) talk to the cameras about the wine-tasting class they have taken and the Mrs., Jacqueline, announces the wine as “peppery” and the Mr., Anders, adds, “With a little uhhhh…blackberry,” it’s positively gag inducing. Anders should have married his high school love, Brenda (Friday Night Lights’ Daniela Alonso), but he didn’t have the guts, so she’s living in D.C. and working as a lawyer, terminally single. Not to worry though, the date we eavesdrop on has her escort assuring her that although he has a small penis he knows what to do with it. Fantastic. But that’s not all, token Asian, Caroline (Anne Son) who took dorkiness to the max in high school, somehow had sex—and got pregnant—by the hottie overachiever, Steven (Michael Stahl-David). She calls him—who lives in Hawaii now, avoiding real life, surfing and bar tending—and tells him they have a nine-year-old son who wants to meet him. He comes back to town, still avoiding, doesn’t get in touch with Caroline, then bumps into her and his son by accident in the street and says to him on their first ever meeting—through a closed car window no less—“Hey what’s up slugger? I’m your dad…I guess.” Wow. Then he decides he’s being racist for suggesting playing ninjas. Sigh. The nerd, Kenneth (Keir O’Donnell), is now an infertile schoolteacher who is desperate to be a father and still in love with his high school sweetheart, Dawn (Kelli Garner), distracting nose-ring and all. She and her unborn child are living with him while her husband, jock-turned-soldier Rolly (Mehcad Brooks) is in Iraq—and he walks in on her flashing her husband via a video chat. How fun. Then there is “The Falcon” (Sebastian Sozzi) the DJ, whose entire function seems to be threading together these altogether disconnected cast of characters who are so utterly charm-free, one can’t imagine why on earth anyone would have the faintest interest in following their every move.

There is absolutely no reason—other than the sheer good-lookingness of My Generation’s cast—to tune into the show. Still, we are rooting for creator Noah Hawley (The Unusuals, Bones) to drag this one out of the mire. (www.abc.go.com/mygeneration)

Author rating: 3/10