This is Your Final Warning… About the 2024 Election: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery Part VI
What is so difficult about this, you guys?
Nov 04, 2024
Happy November! Have you voted yet? Odds are, you may have already. Good on you. Apparently the early vote numbers are off the charts, so much so that they might blow 2020 away. Here’s the thing, early voting usually skews more Democratic but this year Republicans are also early voting in numbers not seen before, so this election is, for now, a jump ball. Let’s get into the stakes, shall we, while we still can, I mean.
We have a real race now, one for the record books. We may never have a true splitscreen race like this again. The country may not see a juxtaposition this epic for a long time, I fucking hope… Anyway, Harris has put together a juggernaut. She has so much “Fuck You” money that she can burn it like the Joker. Money is one of, if not the most important, facets of any presidential race. Trump’s donations have come from all the same places; the Adelson family, Kochs, and most recently, Elon Musk. As Harris has reached out to every voter available, Trump has turned his ground game and GOTV operation over to flimflammer Musk, who has no political experience.
The Trump ground game has been reduced to a pyramid scheme. Harris, meanwhile, continues to pick up more grassroots support and endorsements from all over the political spectrum.
Trump’s faults manifest themselves every time he speaks, publicly or privately. Harris continues to bury him in class, temperament, and management. Yet, the race is still a coin flip. A far cry from the pummeling Biden was going through, but also a deeply troubling view of American attitudes toward, race, misogyny, class, and democracy. If the 2024 election started as the the longest general election in U.S. history, this shortest general election in U.S. history has given us a masterclass in how to pick a president. I mean, Harris is talking about Affordable Housing while Trump has been cosplaying as McDonald’s employees and trash collectors, while simultaneously giving blow jobs to microphones when he’s not talking about Hannibal Lecter or Arnold Palmer’s monster cock. These are real things that have happened recently.
This is a true story.
Trump has been staying On Message by saying that he hates Taylor Swift and Bruce Springsteen and that Liz Cheney should be executed. That’s when he’s not talking about Immigrant Bum Fights. Like his first campaign, everything has been faked and half-assed. Yet, he still won that first race.
Even after his failure at the one debate he had with Harris, where he bumbled into every single trap she set, he still has half of the country in the palm of his hand. Like Biden, Trump is not the man he once was, he just has the Adderall to stay awake a little longer. We have a former prosecutor running against an active, elderly criminal. The difference couldn’t be more stark. Meanwhile, Harris and Walz could serve two terms in the White House and still not be as old as Trump is right now. You’ve been educated about Project 2025. You know who the candidates are. There’s no need for further debate. We’ve all made up our minds. Trump’s tariff plans would shred the powerhouse economy Biden has built. You can’t say you weren’t warned, you dirty motherfuckers…
You have already made up their minds. Our discourse is a wound that never heals. What do you do when the flop era never ends and the pandemic never ends? The year started with Fargo: Season Five (and its whole bullshit), True Detective: Night Country (more bullshit, but sadder), and Echo (Dark As Fuck MCU). That was how pop TV started this year and now we get to end it with the darkest variant reality: American 2024… with a Nazi rally at Madison Square Garden.
We used to be able to trust polls. With Trump, we can’t. There will always be that 3% of people who can’t admit to pollsters (or total strangers) that they’re voting for him. He’s the first Shame President. If anything, he’s ahead in the polls. The only thing that can beat the polls is the aunties who remember life before Roe.
This is not a forward looking campaign. They’ve got RFK Jr. smacking titties and talking about getting fluoride out of the water, while Lara Loomer fights with everyone.
This is where the rubber of your values hits the road of electoral politics. A Harris win means a new chapter in American history. A Harris loss would set the country and progressive cause back decades. If a woman loses to Trump, again(!), timid, bedwetting Democrats won’t be nominating them for a very long time. No matter the winner, there will always be more domestic violence in red states, but this time, there will be more in swing states. Whoever wins will get the best economy in damn near a half century, the loser goes to jail. Either way, the U.S. has a home-grown domestic-terrorism insurgency that will last for decades.
This is it. This is the end of one American story and the beginning of another. Act accordingly.
The Trump Plague: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery
The Trump Depression: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery Part II
Carnage and Malarkey: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery Part III
Human Sacrifice and the 2024 Election: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery Part IV
Kamala Harris and the Vibe Shift: Viral Politics in the Age of Fuckery Part V
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