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Aug 14, 2009 Web Exclusive By Jim Scott

Plenty of great video games have been made into awful movies, so could an awful movie be made into a great video game? Could the process be reversed? In the case of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the answer is no.

While Joe plays like at least half the games that have followed Halo, it’s also reminiscent of even more old-school games, like Contra. (Points are scored! Just like on a pinball machine!) Joe somehow misses out on the fun, though, mostly due to the game’s lack of innovation. Nothing happens that hasn’t been done, and done much better. Gameplay is fine, but doesn’t have the crispness that defines the best of the genre.

The “story” begins with the Baroness being busted out of Joe prison in what seems like an unnecessarily involved plan for a Cobra team that appears to have teleportation skills locked down. She and the rest of her ne’er-do-wells have kidnapped most of the Joe team. So, Duke and Scarlett go out in search of them, where they are being held, one at a time, in detention centers around the globe.

What follows is one of the talkiest game ever played, with someone yapping nearly every second, half of the time to tell someone else to “Stow it.” This would inspire some to figure that the game didn’t have the same writing team as the film, but in this case, that’s not a safe bet. (www.gijoe.ea.com)

Author rating: 4/10