Self-Portrait: Matthew Caws of Nada Surf
Half-Baked
Oct 29, 2024 Issue #73 - Maya Hawke and Nilüfer Yanya Photography by Matthew Caws
For our recurring Self-Portrait feature, we ask musicians to take a self-portrait photo (or paint/draw a self-portrait) and write a list of personal things about themselves, things that their fans might not already know about them. This Self-Portrait is by Matthew Caws of Nada Surf.
Nada Surf’s new album, Moon Mirror, is their first for New West and comes out as the band celebrates the 30th anniversary of their debut single, “The Plan”/“Telescope.” The band produced the album with Ian Laughton (Supergrass, Ash), recording it at Rockfield Studios in Monmouthshire, Wales.
For the past three decades Nada Surf’s main lineup has remained: Caws (vocals, guitar), Daniel Lorca (bass, vocals), and Ira Elliot (drums). Longtime collaborator Louie Lino is also part of the current lineup. The band formed in 1992, initially under the name Helicopter. Ric Ocasek of The Cars produced the band’s 1996-released debut album, High/Low. Ever since, Nada Surf have released a steady stream of beloved power-pop albums.
Of the new album, Caws said in a press release announcing it: “Every time we make an album, I’m asked (and ask myself) what it’s about. I never know how to answer that question. I’m still trying to figure everything out, and that’s probably as close to a theme as there is. Looking back over the years, I know what our songs are about in theory: trying to reach acceptance (of circumstances, of oneself, of others), connection, a constant search for possibility and the bright side, a willingness to change, forgiveness, curiosity, checking in with one’s mortality, motivations and judgements, etc. But in the moment when making one up, I have no idea what I’m doing and maybe that’s okay. I’m just trying to stay honest with myself and take my best guess at making sense of the world.”
Read on as Caws writes about doing laundry on tour, being a cheerleader, his neurodevelopmental disorder, and a half-baked idea that might be more fully baked than he thinks. Above is a self-portrait photo he submitted to us.
1. I like the promise of a to-do list. It feels good to write one. I like the promise of a new notebook, a new pen. I love stationery stores.
2. I like doing laundry on tour. It’s a small-scale/small-stakes adventure of discovery every time. Aside from having fresh clothes, my favorite part is seeing the neighborhood that the laundromat is in. In the U.S. they’re often in random strip malls, which I’m always interested in, while in Europe they’re often in the middle of a residential neighborhood, which is even better because I love seeing where people live. Last time we were in Munich, I took a walk while my clothes dried, and came across a quiet green space, about the size of a city block. It’s where the line “heaven on earth is daytime in a city park” in “Second Skin” occurred to me.
3. I have a half-baked idea of making a website that’s a repository for half-baked ideas. I’ve had so many. I’m starting to reconcile myself to the idea that I’ll never follow through with the vast majority of them. But there have been a few that might be useful to folks? What if there was a place where we could all contribute the ideas we think are solid but know we won’t get to so that people with energy and time can sift through them and see if they connect with one and want to make it happen? If any turned profitable, an honor system to pay 15% of net to the originator? It could be anything from a screenplay to an app to a system to get people on and off airplanes quicker.
4. Years ago I went to a birthday party for my friend Peter Norrman. Peter is a great photographer and multimedia artist who has done loads of really interesting projects. Probably the least important thing he’s done is make a video for the Minor Alps song “Maxon,” but I think it’s absolutely beautiful. Anyway, back to the story, so yes, years ago, at his birthday party, he hands me a video camera and asks me if I’d mind going around the party and filming everyone, so that he could look back one day and remember who was there. I had had a couple and was wondering what I could do to make it fun. I decided to ask everyone about their hair, how they felt about it, if they had a memory of a best haircut, of a worst haircut. Everybody had something to say! A strong opinion about their hair, or a story.
5. I love being a cheerleader for other people’s ideas, I love hearing someone talk about being on the cusp of a change or a new phase, especially if they’re open to talking about it. If they don’t mind receiving advice, almost nothing gets me as excited as getting in there and thinking about plans, jumping on their ride and thinking about the logistics and the psychology of their trip.
Sometimes I feel more like a vector/attitude than a fully-realized being. If I was at a dinner party and felt like I had to hold forth on something for even 10 straight minutes I don’t think I could. I feel more natural reacting to things and having the occasional thing occur to me that I suddenly want to share. I don’t have a ton of facts that I can roll out or refer to at any given moment. However I’m perfectly happy at a dinner party, love interacting with just about anyone and luckily I love being around people who know more than I do.
6. I have ADHD. One of the great reliefs of my life has been realizing that I’m not lazy—I’m anxious. I love working and action, doing things, making things, organizing things, so the idea that I was lazy was really confusing to me. It made no sense and I didn’t know what to do about it, except once in a while burst into action to get rid of the shame, which is an unpleasant way to function even if it kind of works. Thankfully those shame-fuelled bursts were only temporary—once I got going, I was always happy and got in the zone. But when I was spinning out, I was always up for trying to fight it. I’d put a lot of effort into course-correction. I’m feeling generally much better about it now. I’m still sometimes like a slightly out-of-control enthusiasm machine, but because I understand it better, I can steer more and get more done, and sometimes even enjoy the ride when I’m feeling speedy. On a good day, it can feel just like having extra energy. They aren’t all good days, but many more of them are….
[Note: This article originally appeared in the digital version of Issue 73, as a bonus article. This is its debut online.]
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