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Epsom Salts

Aug 12, 2024 By Nick Roseblade Photography by Nick Roseblade Web Exclusive

The Green Door Store is one of my favourite venues in Brighton. The bar is filled with random stuff on the walls. There is a blink and you miss it stained glass window. And they serve Guinness 0%. The music room has cobbled floors so there is one place for the music to escape. I remember seeing Emmy the Great there YEARS ago and her voice just echoed around there. And there is a green door. One of the downsides, especially if it’s hot, is that the place turns into a sweatbox. As the weather has been uncomfortably warm recently I was worried about the Epsom Salts gig turning into a sauna, with a pit. But luckily the only overheating going on was by the slam dancers.

Aku kicked this off in proper hardcore spirits. Their singer jumped off the stage and paced about the floor shouting, his short, gruff lyrics, while the pit moved around him. It was a pretty strong indication of what the night had in store. Their standout track was “Cesspit”. Throughout the band just played as hard and fast as they could and when it was over everyone, even the people in the pit, looked physically drained. Then they did it again for the next one. Their set was short. Sharp. loud. And then it was over. As my favourite cooking reaction chef says “8/10. Would see again”.

After a short break How Long You Been Driving took to the stage. Still in the hardcore vein but leaning heavily into d-beat How Long You Been Driving are an unrelenting force of nature. Their use of feedback was interesting. In between the songs, the amps were just searing. During the songs it dropped off, but a few times it felt like the feedback was being used as another instrument. At one point, I think, I heard a feedback solo. It’s hard to tell as it was loud AF! The pit was at its most ferocious during their set. Not only were people slam dancing, but someone was doing hurricane kicks. One audience member, who arrived during their set, decided to throw his hat in the ring. He started off skanking, then when the tempo went up a notch he went hard. 30-seconds later he was flat on his back on the cobbles. Oof. Luckily he found the funny side. Got back up and went back in.

Throughout the gig, all the bands spoke about the far-right riots that were predicted to happen the next day. The message was simple. Show solidarity against the fash, but if you can’t make it, or don’t feel safe attending, look after you and yours and stay home. It wasn’t so much as a call to arms but to assess your responsibility to your town.

The headliners of the night were Epsom Salts. “Brighton’s”, self-proclaimed, “Worst punk band”. Their music wasn’t as heavy as the previous bands, but it wasn’t easy listening either. Borrowing as much from punk, as from IDLES and Lice, their music was more melodic, atonal, and abrasive than the previous bands. This was all on display during their standout track “Blue and Green”. When it started the crowd erupted. The opening riff was chaotic, hypnotic, and catchy. The song is about getting messed up at parties and being offered something you shouldn’t. Then later they sand about being “Off your fucking rocker mate, to think about having any of that. There’s bits of melted plastic in there you dumb bastard. You need to get your fucking head checked mate”. The chorus was “Blue and green. That shit was blue and green. Blue and green. The purest pill I’ve ever seen”. The pit during Epsom Salts was the calmest of the night. This was down to the change in music. It wasn’t 100 miles an hour. More menacing than aggressive. And two of the main pit instigators were now on stage performing. In the end, however, the chains came off and the band directed the crowd to “fucking go for it”. And go for it they did. It was a sea of elbows, heads, hurricane kicks, and tumbles. All good, clean fun for everyone involved. After the gig, I thought “If Epsom Salts are the worst punk band I don’t want to see the best”.