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Jun 19, 2012 By Laura Studarus Web Exclusive

“Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” The makers of Seeking a Friend For the End of the World clearly never heard the infamous Coco Chanel advice. Dialogue—like so many pieces of gaudy costume jewelry—drape across every inch of the film, characters piling painful soliloquies onto moments where mere glance has already told us everything we need to know. Remember what Chanel always said? “Simpler is better.”

Of course, simply criticizing dialogue of Seeking a Friend For the End of the World would be like buying life insurance while a big rock flies towards Earth at 700 miles per hour. Set during the countdown to the end of the world as an asteroid named Matilda positions itself to destroy Earth, the more maudlin aspects of the narrative are served with a liberal helping of dark humor. Humanity has taken its existence to the most logical—and illogical—of extremes. (Housewives doing heroin! Chain restaurants taken over by acid and orgies! Hitmen for hire!) Well, that is…almost everyone.

The description of the main characters sounds like it was plucked directly from the zany indie romance handbook. Dodge is an insurance man so straight-laced, even impending doom can’t coax him out of his sweater vest. (Steve Carell, trading heavily on his everyman persona.) Penny is a free-spirited British hippy with questionable sleeping habits. (Keira Knightley, working her…err, perkiness.) He says French fries! She says chips! They meet, and their lives will never be the same!

Inspired by his wife’s sudden disappearance—and, you know, the impending apocalypse—Dodge hits the road to find his high school sweetheart, aka “The One That Got Away.” Circumstances (as they usually do in these types of film) dictate that he bring Penny along for the ride—who is fleeing from her own failed relationship with Owen (Adam Brody). He promises to take to “a man with a plane” who can fly her home to England, she promises him…well, not much of anything.

Which would have been fine—even downright entertaining—if a romance between the two characters hadn’t been shoehorned into the narrative with the enthusiasm of Cinderella’s stepsisters trying on the glass slipper. The ultimate proximity crush, we’re never once given the impression that either character is capable of the give and take needed for a romantic relationship, albeit a temporary one. Even with sex taken out of the equation (a quick romp early into their trip leaves Penny declaring it to be a “creature comfort” and Dodge horrified he just slept with woman almost 20 years his junior), they seem—at best—like seatmates on a trip to nowhere.

The characters seem to work double time to convince us this is the real deal (the phrase, “You’re the love of my life,” is actually uttered), but it’s all talk. Devoid of depth, their relationship is no more substantial than anything else the peripheral characters use to distract themselves from impending doom. Is this shallow excuse for love the best humanity can offer us? Eh, bring on the asteroid.

(www.focusfeatures.com/seeking_a_friend_for_the_end_of_the_world)

Author rating: 4/10