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Oct 20, 2014 By Zach Hollwedel Web Exclusive

Brooklyn schlub Erik Sparrow (played by writer-director Onur Tukel) has been dating his girlfriend, Jody (Anna Margaret Hollyman) for years. He lives in his own ego-centric world, cruising through life with a solid job, a woman who loves him, and unfiltered loud mouth that—incredibly—doesn’t regularly land him at the receiving end of savage beatings. One night, Jody proposes; instead of accepting—or even graciously declining—Erik goes on one of his myriad rambling discourses about love and relationships and life, ultimately driving Jody away. Newly single, he takes to online dating. While wandering around Brooklyn one night, Erik comes across a vampire. Once bitten, he finds his sexual prowess heightened, which he capitalizes on repeatedly (though only with the same women he already met online), until he begins to feel his newfound undead state is actually a curse and decides to win Jody back into his life.

Summer of Blood sounds disjointed, and it is. Listening to Erik Sparrow prattle on (and on and on) with his self-absorbed drivel while single in contemporary Brooklyn, navigating the waters of online dating and poor sexual performance could be its own film. And, in fact, for the first 30 of this 90 minute movie, that’s what Summer of Blood is about. Erik doesn’t meet his vampiric maker until a full half hour into the film. Other than one far less comical than intended encounter with a bit victim perhaps 15 minutes in, there’s not even a hint of the paranormal prowlers to prepare viewers. Once bitten, Erik’s exploits continue almost as before, only this time, he’s supposedly better in bed.

Where Summer of Blood shines is in its opening. The first dinner between Jody and Erik—the one in which she proposes—offers a lot of promise. Unfortunately, Erik is far too unlikable to spend much time with on his own, and the remaining 80 minutes can’t maintain the same wit and energy the first 10 do. Onur Tukel tries to spin the hackneyed vampire story in a new way; unfortunately, perhaps like Erik, he’s too enamored of his ideas to see where improvements could be made, leaving Summer of Blood with baby teeth instead of fangs.

Author rating: 4/10