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Oct 16, 2023 By Chris Thiessen Photography by Angella Choe Issue #71 - Weyes Blood and Black Belt Eagle Scout

One of the greatest paradoxes in life is that nothing feels more constant than change, something that North Carolina-based artist Indigo De Souza fundamentally understands. Since her last album, Any Shape You Take, released to critical acclaim in 2021, De Souza has experienced a series of significant relationship changes—with her band, her community, her dad, even the natural world. While life shifts like these are rarely easy, De Souza welcomes each one as a gift.

“Change is just one of the most beautiful things to me,” she says. “Because it’s not only change, but it’s growth. The more you get to be alive, the more things you learn. And if there are people around you who can process with you and support you through change, it’s the greatest bond that there is.”

Her new album, All of This Will End, speaks to an inherent desire for just this type of bond with a life-affirming community that pushes back against the inevitability of death. Largely written during a period of being alone, the album explores the emotional complexities of human relationships with clarity and honesty.

Broken relationships in the present led De Souza to reflect back on similar experiences from her youth, which she captures on passionate ballad “Younger & Dumber.” “I never felt settled,” she says, “I just wanted to leave town instead of trying to figure out how to solve everything because I really didn’t have the support around me to actually figure out how to survive in the spaces that I was in.” Part of this lack of support, she recollects, was due to her absentee dad. On “Always”—the angstiest track on the record in which De Souza lets out chilling, cathartic screams over guitarist Dexter Webb’s stabs of punk distortion—she confronts him: “Father, I thought you’d be here/I thought you’d try/I thought you’d stay.”

Reflecting on the past and allowing for bursts of anger or sadness or grief isn’t the end goal; it’s the path toward healing. In the course of writing this record, De Souza found herself a new band who foster De Souza’s alternative rock spirit and bring urgency and cohesion to these perfectly brisk songs. The working relationship is much healthier, she says, a claim the album’s playful and collaborative arrangements confirm.

De Souza also found restoration of community through a rekindled love for nature, something she sings about on “The Water”—one of the most peaceful and happy moments on the record. After feeling cooped up in Asheville for a season, she found herself in a new friend group outside the city limits and “just got swept away in the magic of all of it with them.” Getting her feet in the mud, learning about the earth, and trying to “make our own separateness from all the shit that was going on” in the midst of the pandemic helped De Souza find the mental space and clarity necessary for the next step toward peace.

There’s something generative about De Souza’s way of being in the world. Instead of trying to control changing circumstances and getting it all right, each choice to be present and life-giving snowballs into the next step. “There’s only love/There’s only moving through and trying your best,” she sings on the album’s title track. With the belief that “all of this will end” comes the freedom to put to death any feelings of resentment that try to rob us of our joy. In that spirit, De Souza recently reunited with her dad, inviting him into her community. “We made food for him and played music with him and took him out into nature and showed up for him. We had a breakthrough within our relationship, and now I just feel like the weight is completely lifted.”

[Note: This article originally appeared in Issue 71 of Under the Radar’s print magazine, which is out now. This is its debut online.]

www.indigodesouza.com

Read our interview with De Souza on Any Shape You Take.

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